Unschooling

Since before the babies were even in my tummy I knew I wanted to homeschool. I checked out every single book from every single library researching every single method of teaching. After all that learning, I decided that I did not particularly care for one method entirely, but liked aspects of many.. especially the montessori and waldorf methods. Then I came across the idea of unschooling. (Although at the time, I didn't realize it had a name and that people were actually presenting their children with this learning option.)

Children naturally love to ask questions and learn. I think this desire can be lost when forced to learn either, 1) things they are not interested in, or 2) at a different pace than where they are at. In my opinion, allowing children to learn things in their own natural rythm and in ways that are interesting and exciting to them, is much healthier. I was thrilled to finally one day discover a book that taught exactly what I believed and even more excited to learn that people were actually doing it!

The problem was.. I didn't know of any one personally.

So, when it came time for my oldest to go to school, I panicked and sent him. Every doubt, anxiety, and fear that I had crept in and took over my ability to make the decision to keep him home. I was worried that if I did, maybe he would never learn basic skills such as writing and reading or math. And that he would become a social outcast, later blaming me for all his life's failures. I know this sounds extreme and almost laughable, but those were seriously my thoughts! I was able to get him into my mom's kindergarten class, which helped ease my mind a lot, because I was able to spend time in the classroom after school and it was comforting to know how and what he was learning and who was teaching him. But I knew he would not be there forever. Then a month ago we moved back to the city to be closer to panda's job and he had to change schools halfway through the year. His new teacher is wonderful and the school system is a highly rated and excellent district.. but each day that I drop him off, I still worry that I made the wrong decision. I know that it's not too late to change my mind.. but now that he is halfway through the year, we really need to decide if we want to send him back again next fall. I have spent a lot of time discussing it with him and he loves the idea of home school.. his face lights up whenever I mention it. But because he has an extremely social personalitiy and loves to be around other kids, I know that I would have to make extra effort to get him involved in extracurricular activities and go out of my way to meet other people who homeschool or unschool in the area to set up playdates and fun outings. I love the idea of this, because I get to learn right along with him and in ways that are fun for all of us! Plus, it wouldn't hurt for me and the little one to get out of the house and socialize a bit ourselves..

The other reason that stopped me was the idea in the back of my head (that has more recently grown stronger) of wanting to one day go to school myself. After being forced into dramatically changing my diet because of allergies, I have discovered a love for food and have been looking more seriously into natural cooking schools that specialize in vegan and raw food cuisine. There are only 4 schools that I have found in the U.S. who focus on this type of diet. (California, NYC, and Atlanda, GA) The one I am most interested in is in Austin, TX. The culinary institute opened a montessori school on it's campus.. and if we could afford this option, to me it would be the ideal situation. Our children would be taught in a unique and creative learning environment with a method that I feel passionately confident in, and would be located within the small campus where I would be taking classes. That would obviously be a huge and expensive move for us though, and unfortunately one that is of right now.. not realistic or possible.

Still, making the long term comittment to unschool would mean giving up my own chance to go to school, no matter how unrealistic it is right now. I know that I could still take independent classes in the area .. (if they exist?) and I have learned so much already on my own just through books and experimentation. There are so many ways to grow and learn, and I obviously don't feel that you have to go to school in order to be able to live out your dreams or start a business.. or in my case, a "church". But, I think that it would be a fun learning experience to be in an environment with people who share my passion for healthy living food and learn from others in hands on classes and demonstrations. Sigh..

When there are so many learning option to choose from, how do you know which direction to go?
Sometimes I guess you don't, and you just have to trust and pray that God will lead you down the right path. It makes me think of when we were in the Conservatory this past weekend and there were so many different trails leading to different places. Some over bridges, some through caves with waterfalls, and some actually lead you right back to where you started. To me the one's that made me stop and think the most, were the ones that lead to a door. Do you enter and see where it leads, or continue to explore the familiar room you are already in?

Until reaching a decision, I will continue to pray, to seek, to ask God to open doors if he wants to lead me beyond where I am, and to put my trust and faith fully in Him to help guide me..