Snow Angels (more winter images)

So blue...

Good evening my sweet friends,

It's Saturday night, my second eve without the boys... and although I enjoyed staying in out of the cold and catching up on "Brothers and Sisters" from Netflix last night, tonight I was really in the mood to go out. (I had been stuck in the house for a week and was beginning to go a little stir crazy.) So, earlier this eve J and I attempted to brave the cold to watch "The Book of Eli". But after tromping through the snow to the theater we found out that either the website show times were wrong, or J read them wrong. Disappointed, we tromped back down the street and tried to warm up with a decaf soy latte (me) and chai (him) at the coffee shop for a bit. We talked about religion, dating, love, etc. As difficult and awkward as it can still be at times, and although there are still some negative feelings between us that occasionally spill out, we are trying are best to hold onto our friendship and remain strong for our children. :) So, anyway... we decided not to wait around for the next showing and just headed back to the house instead.

I spent most of the day purging and packing again and thought I would finish where I left off this eve, but instead I plopped my bottom down on the couch with the other half of my Subway foot long from lunch that I saved, and ended up watching "ABDC" for an hour instead. J made plans with a friend to go have a drink, so I decided to enjoy another rare and quiet evening to myself, take a bath, and read old Domino magazines. Then spend some time in meditation and prayers, and even possibly do some yoga. It sounded like a good plan, and normally I absolutely love silence and time alone... but tonight as I let my tired body sink into the warm water, I'm not sure what set me off, but I just broke down and the tears started flowing...



Ha, okay... so that's actually my friend Michelle's bathtub, but I can dream, can't I?? :)

So, not a moment goes by that I don't think of Nolan. I miss him all the time. There are thousands of miles between us... and yet, we have such an incredibly strong connection that I always feel him close to me. The e-mails, phone calls, and texts help take the edge off a little bit as well. Usually I am so busy with the boys, homeschooling, housework, job hunting, packing & planning... that even though I feel him with me throughout the day, my time and energy is so filled up that I don't have time to dwell on how much it aches inside to be away from him. It has been 3 months since I was in Vegas and I still won't see him again until he comes back to visit in March. I just got off the phone with my best friend Jamie and her boyfriend, who are in Las Vegas right now and on their way to visit him at work. I am so badly wishing I were there as well. Even as I was talking to her about it, I got butterflies in my tummy just at the thought of seeing him again. :)

This evening as I had time to myself, I found myself letting go of all the emotions I have been trying to control. Long distance relationships are difficult. This waiting period has taught me an incredible amount of patience, along with an even stronger trust in God to help us through this time apart, as He continues to prepare us for our time together. Nolan is SO absolutely worth waiting for, and I know that soon we will be able to spend some much needed time together. But tonight, I just miss him so much. I want to be able to go out on a date with him, look into his gorgeous eyes, share a meal together, have a drink, kiss those scrumptious lips... hold him close to me, and breathe him in ever so deeply. Sigh...

I realize I am getting ahead of myself though. I had originally intended to write about how we know each other to begin with, how we "met" again, and how our relationship has evolved over time... along with details of my Vegas trip. But, instead, I just ended up going on and on about how much I miss him... ha!

Ah, oh well... obviously what needed to come out, just came... and it's been the same with him as well. Such a beautiful and organic process that unfolded so naturally. It's been a breath of fresh air, as everything between us flows so easily, and yet... it's painfully difficult being so far away from the person with whom you want to spend every moment for the rest of your life with. :)

Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend.

Much love and hugs,
Erin



Sometimes
When eyes meet you know
They have to meet again
Sometimes
Birds of a feather
Got to fly together

From a dingy attic window
Candles shine
On a perfect table
Laid for two who love to dine
Now they drink the
Highly recommended wine
Free at last and feeling fine

I'm so glad
My fine young friend
Glad for you

I'm so glad
My fine young friend
Glad for you

You used to be so blue
You used to be so blue

Snowy weekend...

Hello my lovey doves. I have been desperately wanting to start writing more often again and have not been able to find the time or energy. But, I promised my lovely and beautiful friend Chrissy that I would try to blog more often. ;)

So... it is Friday afternoon and I am watching last season's Project Runway re-runs as the snow keeps falling outside my window. My dad and step-mom drove 2 hours here this morning to get the boys for the weekend. We had made plans before we knew there was a snowstorm coming, so at first they drove halfway here and called to say they should maybe turn around and head back. The boys were SO disappointed, but then much to their happiness, my dad called back to say that they had already made it halfway and were just going to try to make it the rest of the way. I just got off the phone with them, the road is slick and they are having to drive very slowly, so I pray they make it home safely. Ugh, it's making me a nervous wreck!



Aside from that... the snow is so beautiful coming down and sticking to the row of pine trees alongside our house. We're supposed to get 6-10 inches this weekend. Thankfully I don't have any plans for the next couple of days other than going to church on Sunday to witness my close friend Kacy get baptized. :) For now though, I am happy to be warm and safe inside, curled up next to the space heater, under a throw blanket. I feel so very soft, sleepy, and day dreamy... I was thinking of taking a nap, but am worried it might disrupt my already messed up sleeping schedule. Or lack of it, I should say...

I have only been getting about 3-5 hours of sleep recently, as it seems in the evening after I lay down that my mind begins racing the most. So many changes are happening in my life and I have been really busy preparing. A lot of my time recently has gone to hours and hours of filling out online applications, as my desperate search for a job continues. Honestly, it is beginning to seem like a job itself. I am also continuing to finish homeschooling this year, as we thought it would be easier on the boys, compared to putting them in school here for half the year and then moving and having to put them through the process of changing schools yet again. But I have been trying for the past month or two to find a part-time weekend job, with hopes that I can transition back into full-time this summer/fall. Unfortunately, nobody seems to be hiring right now, so it is becoming a bit frustrating. I know that there has to be something out there for me, so I just keep on keeping on and having faith that God will open a door for me soon. :)

Besides that, I have been going through all of my stuff... trying to purge and organize and begin packing... once again! I still have several more months before moving, but time seems to be flying by and the more I can get done now, the less I have to worry about later. I am going to be downsizing quite a bit, so I am trying to figure out what to do with everything. I realized while going through all my belongings that I could practically open a small shabby chic boutique! It is going to be difficult to part with any of it, as it has taken me quite awhile to build up my Vintage-y collection. It all fits beautifully into my Victorian style home, but not sure how it's going to work in an apartment again... or how it's going to mesh with my new love's style, which is a bit more modern. Hmmm...



Oops, did I just accidentally spill a few beans? ;)

Ha, that's all I'm hinting at for now... but speaking of my magnificent man, I think a Las Vegas post is WAY overdue. Since I have a bit more time to myself this weekend, hopefully there will be more writing and photos to come very soon! I am also hoping to get caught up on reading some of your blog posts as well.

Btw, my dad just called and said they finally made it to their house. Whew, thank God... sigh of relief...

I pray that you are all healthy and happy.

Much love and hugs,

Erin



I have been listening to this song over and over...

While I was watching you did a slow dissolve
While I was watching you did a slow dissolve
While I was watching you did a slow dissolve

Did I imagine or do the walls have eyes
Did I imagine they held us hypnotized
Did I imagine or do the walls have eyes

Life in slow motion somehow it don’t feel real
Life in slow motion somehow it don’t feel real
Life in slow motion somehow it don’t feel real
Snowflakes are falling I'll catch them in my hands
Snowflakes are falling I'll catch them in my hands
Snowflakes are falling now you’re my long lost friend