Well, I have to admit.. I haven't done any spring cleaning yet. What I have been doing though is a lot of purging, sorting, and organizing. After looking through Montessori catalogs online, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to afford the materials I needed for our classroom. So, instead I have been trying to come up with some simple & inexpensive materials on my own, and they seem to work just as well! I have also recently found some fellow bloggers who make a lot of materials themselves, so I am hoping to learn some new ideas from them. :) It feels so good now that everything has a place of it's own and that we can easily find what we need without having to dig through a box of supplies!
Goodbye (old & beloved, but difficult to find anything in) Art Box..
Hello (new, see-through & organized) glass containers! Some came from World Market and the others were (spaghetti sauce and sliced fruit) jars I had cleaned and saved.
I am loving these little pails. The Peter Rabbit ones came from Target's $1 spot and the metal ones from Michael's $1 section.
Someone else has been enjoying the fruits of my labor! He is excited about his new Montessori activity center and has been doing some sorting as well. :) I found the wooden tray on clearance at World Market. It was so perfect for these activities! Sometimes he sorts them by color, and other times by size or shape. I encourage him to count as he sorts and we have been practicing adding and subtracting a bit as well.
Buttons..
Stones..
Shells..
The natural materials were all things I already had around the house and we bought a small package of buttons and smooth glass stones at Wal-mart.
He has also been practicing his E's with chalk on some small chalkboards I found at Michael's.
Both of the boys have been enjoying drawing on them as well. :)
Oh, sweet organization.. let me count thy ways I love thee. :)
I had read about the book, "Imagine A Place" by Sarah L.Thomson and paintings by Rob Gonsalves in a Parenting magazine recently and so I was excited to find a copy at the library today! I have always been amazed by images that are able to "trick the mind's eye" and even did a science experiment in elementary school on optical illusions. I love MC Escher's artwork as well, so of course this book would intrigue me! If you haven't seen this book, or the other two Titles available, including, "Imagine a Day" and "Imagine a Night". I urge you to check them out!
Before I begin, I just wanted to share with you that I opened my mind and heart today and so I pray that while reading this, you will as well. :)
I have been a bit reluctant to share with everyone the spiritual distance I have been experiencing lately, but here we go..
I have been dealing with bouts of depression and overwhelming anxiety that has kept me awake most every night. I have felt distant from God, my prayers not seeming to go anywhere but into thin air. I haven't been able to hear his voice, or feel him close to me. I have felt lost, unsure of where I fit in, overburdened at times by life, heavy with stress, exhausted, unsure of myself and my decisions..
Today something changed in me through, so I feel it's time to write about it now.
As I have briefly written about in a past post, we came across a new church close to downtown when we first moved here and it was instantly love at first sight. The pastor and his wife were so sweet and welcoming and we were convinced right away that it was the place for us. Shortly after, we became house ridden for a month while caught in a frenzy of flu, severe sinus headaches, and colds. I spent a lot of time in bed, thinking, praying, writing, and crying out to God. As much as I adored the church, something was still tugging at me to keep searching. I began to think about the importance of community and started searching close to home. There is a church we used to attend for a short time while living not far from here several years ago that we have considered returning to, along with a couple others close by that I considered visiting. One of the churches on my list meets in a H.S. in the next town over, and after visiting their website, we had planned to go there this morning. Well, I'm not sure what was going on, but nobody was cooperating and it seemed to be one thing after another trying to slow us down, until finally I looked at the clock and realized we had already missed half of the service. Frustrated, I went to my room and closed the door.. my head between my hands, my knees pulled to my chest and started to cry. "God, where do you want us? What is this trying to come against us?" And as I laid down, ready to fall back in depression, a thought suddenly came to me.
Friday night I was looking online at homeschooling groups in the Columbus area and happened to notice a homeschooling group made up of about 30 people that go to this one particular church. Hmm.. I thought to myself, but that was about all.
As much as I wanted to stay in bed and sulk about missing the other service, I know that familiar nudge all too well. So I quickly sprang out of bed, checked their website, and found out that there was another service starting in 30 minutes (the exact amount of time it would take us to get there). My husband and children must have sensed an urgency in my voice, and not questioning it, quickly got their act together this time around. It still took us 15 extra minutes to get shoes and coats and bathroom breaks out of the way, but I figured with it being such a large church, nobody would notice us rolling in a little late. So, off we went.. and it wasn't until my thoughts started setting in as I stared out the window at the rain and the swooshing wipers, that I began to have anxiety and doubt. "This is not at all what you have been searching for. I thought you wanted to find a small church in your own neighborhood? This is exactly the type of place that turns you off.. you'll just be another number in the crowd, how are you going to meet anyone this way? Oh, and the huge projection screens, concert lighting, and fake smiles.. why would you want to go there? You've been to these types of churches before. They are all the same." I was very much considering telling J to forget it, I had changed my mind. But instead, I forced out all of the negative thoughts, "I'm going to be open-minded" I thought, "Maybe there's something I'm missing."
And there was. Only it took me awhile to realize it.
So, we finally find the Church and it is massive. I'm talking as big as a shopping mall and we can't find a place to park, so we drive around and around, which just gives me that much more time to consider changing my mind, and causes us to be that much later than we already are. We finally realize there is another parking lot for the late comers on the other side of the building and walk forever in the pouring rain to one of the many entrances. The boys are stunned by the gigantic structure before us, and I have forgotten that they were not born when we had our brief encounter with mega churches in Nashville. Yes, we've been to them all, including Michael W's very own (who believe it or not, actually meets in a fairly modest building in comparison to many others) and quickly realized those places were not for us. So, what on Earth were we doing at one again after all of these years? I guess we were about to find out.
We were greeted with friendly smiles (and trust me, I can tell the difference by now between the real and the fake.) These ones were genuine and not for a moment did I feel judgment towards being late. We then followed the other stragglers towards the sound of my favorite hymn "How Great Thou Art?". I am not often moved by worship music, but this one makes me want to sob at the mere mention of the title. So, I knew we were off to a good start here. Quickly though I began to stress a bit after looking around and not seeing any available seats. We finally found three open ones together though and took turns holding the little one on our laps. I was sad that my song was coming to an end, as the Pastor stepped on stage after returning from a mission trip. As the lights dimmed I whispered to J how comfortable I thought the seats were and how I felt like we were in a movie theater. Looking around, I was actually surprised to notice that it wasn't as big as I thought (Maybe because I was comparing it the larger mega-churches in my past) and that it felt warm and comfortable. I felt strangely at home and at peace. What was going on? I realized halfway through the service that they never dismissed the children though and looking around realized that there weren't any in the room besides ours and a few infants. Oops. The boys were fairly good though, drawing, listening, and looking at books.. although they grew a bit fidgety towards the end. The pastor spoke about coming together, breaking down boundaries, peace, and Jesus being the way to reconciliation. It was a good sermon accompanied by personal stories from his trip and maps on the mega screen. As he neared the end though he asked if anyone in the Church had been feeling distant from God and urged people to stand. Yes, I was feeling distance and no, I was not about to stand. But then he kept gently urging and coaxing. "Just stand" he said softly, but firmly "Come on, just stand." Man, he is being relentless, isn't he? I was just beginning to feel annoyed by him, but then something funny happened as he closed his eyes and began to pray over everyone.
I stood. I stood and had no control over my decision to stand. It just happened, almost as if by an unnatural force. And even as I was standing there I thought, Am I really standing? Then suddenly felt a wave of peace rush over me. The prayer ended and everyone opened their eyes. "There's no hiding now", I thought to myself. But then he said something even more challenging and scary, "Come." I stood, but I am NOT walking past an enormous stadium of people to the front of the room. I try to sit down (hoping that nobody will notice what a coward I am), and I do sit for a moment, but my body will not allow me to remain there. So, I get up out of my seat and catch the reassuring smile of the woman a row ahead of me. As I walked to the front of the room, I held her smile close to me for protection, and all the fear that I felt begins to fade. A pretty younger woman then approached me and I started rambling on to her about who knows what, then she rested her hand on my shoulder and began to pray for me. (I am getting teary eyed just now thinking about it.) She then lead me to meet a woman with beautiful and kind eyes in another room who helped me find some groups within the church, including a homeschooling one, and some in my area. She too, then prayed for me and told me that I was welcome to come to that room anytime I needed to see a familiar face again. After that I was lead to another woman, with white hair and a graceful presence, who gave me a tour of the children's area. I then phoned J to find out where they were and he told me they were waiting in the car for me.
I still don't fully comprehend what happened today. What I do know though is that without a doubt, God spoke to me and I finally listened!
I am usually fairly private about my faith and quiet to proclaim it, but I felt the need to share this story with you tonight. I thought I'd end it with a scripture and song that speaks to my heart and soul in a way that I can not express through words alone. Plus it takes me back to my Southern roots for a moment. ;) Thank you for taking the time to read and listen.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 (New International Version)
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Yesterday evening was a strange one for us. Usually the boys are in bed by 8:00 (occasionally 9:00 on the weekends if we're watching a movie) but last night we were out running late-night errands so that we could enjoy a quiet peaceful day today. So, we didn't even get home until Earth Hour was half way over. Although our lights had obviously been off the entire time, I felt we had missed out on the experience, so we allowed the boys to stay up until 10:00 and have a camp-out and snack before bed. They found this to be very exciting and thought the candlelight was beautiful. My oldest even suggested we save more energy by using sunlight by day and candlelight by night all the time! I thought this was a wonderful idea and something that we might start, as soon as I stock up on a few more candles! Ha, in case you're seeing some of the same ones in the pictures it's because I found that we were not very well prepared in the natural light area. I was barely able to find a lighter and matches and had to keep moving the few candles I have to whatever area of the room we were in. I was also unable to find a single flashlight and the boys' lantern batteries were dead. If anything, Earth Hour made me realize that we most definitely are not prepared for a power outage or natural disaster, and really need to stock up on a few things! Did anyone else celebrate Earth Hour last night? I would love to hear about what you did! Please share. :)
No, this is not a blog about the empty spaces in my heart or head.. I am overflowing in those areas. It's about empty wall space, which is partially why I haven't posted any photos of our new townhouse yet.
Thank goodness our china cabinet made it here in one piece today, from what I heard it was a bumpy ride. Praise God that friends of my mom's volunteered to bring it here in their truck for nothing more than a little gas money. And lastly, Hallelujah for the much needed extra storage space!
But, now that I'm done singing praises.. I have to say that the dark wood looked much better against the deep red walls, hardwood floors, gold accents, brick fireplace, and candles that surrounded it in our old dining room. Now it just looks like a monstrosity crammed into our living room/dining room combo, against stark white walls, next to my temporary Montessori activity center. Same with the massive dining table, which, even with the center leaf removed, barely fits into the space either. I am refusing to let the bank take our furniture along with our house though, so it's just going to have to work here somehow.
My dilemma is this.. How do I add more color and warmth to soften this long bowling alley style living/dining room on a very tight thrift store budget without painting? We are allowed to paint, if we change the walls back when we move out, but I have already done accent walls in both of the bedrooms, and I think that's enough pre-moving out work for us as it is. I have a nest/egg theme through the house, so I wouldn't mind some homemade artwork ideas that go along with my theme. Also, my mom offered to make a curtain that I can cover the Montessori bookcase with.. which gave me the idea to maybe frame some beautiful fabric that coordinates? I also have 4 beautiful B&W photographs in dark frames that my friend Megan took that I've been wanting to hang again, but not sure if they should go in the entryway by the stairs, or over the couch. And just like the china cabinet, I'm worried they might look too harsh against the white walls. I never seem to have trouble decorating houses that already have lots of interesting architectural details, but I can never seem to figure out what to do with white, boxy, cookie-cutter type apartment homes. I'm completely stumped..
Any ideas?? Maybe I should go to "Rate My Space" for help.
On another topic.. I'm excited to say that I finally met my very first real life homeschooling friend Alana (Finding my way home) and her awesome kids yesterday. (Not that the rest of you are imaginary. Lol.) After seeing how sweet, kind, creative, and intelligent her children are, I feel so much more confident that I am off to a good start and that my children too will hopefully thrive in a homeschooling environment as much as her kids seem to be. It was also nice to sit and talk with someone in person about some of the anxieties I've been having. I felt such a weight lifted off of me after leaving. I wish I would have remembered to take some photos of our time spent there, the kids had so much fun playing together!
Also, I wanted to share with you that we had our very first "Friday Family Film night" yesterday evening. The boys watched "The Princess Bride" for the first time and loved it! I know that a lot of people have similar traditions with their own families, and I have some good memories of traditions we had as a family growing up.. so, it is really neat to finally start devoting a weekday night to doing something fun together! I am hoping it's something we will carry on for a long time. :)
I want to write more, but am taking a break from household chores, so I must get back to work now! Hope you're all having a wonderful weekend! :)
P.S. Don't forget to turn your lights off tonight from 8:30-9:30 for Earth Hour!
So, I know maybe you've been a bit curious as to what we've been up to after that sneak peek. Well, let me first start off by saying that we are just beginning to very gently tread water a little. Maybe this isn't the best time to start homeschooling with everything that's been going on, but I feel as though I need something positive to focus my thoughts and energy on, so I've decided to begin experimenting a little.
My mom taught Montessori preschool for many years, which my brother and sister and I all attended when we were young. She now teaches kindergarten at a public school. Because it was the beginning stage of my childhood learning, I thought it would be a good place to start with my own children. My oldest attended a Catholic preschool and is a bit old for many of the activities I have started working on with my youngest. So, while he was away this past weekend at his Grammy's, it gave me some one on one time with E to work with him alone. I know that some of you are hardcore Montessori educators, so before explaining, I want to make sure to express that the activities I am doing are only loosely based on the Montessori Method and that I have incorporated my own ideas and other methods into the activities as well. With that being said.. We started off with some basic water pouring activities in preparation for our tea party, where E put his newly learned pouring skills into real life practice. We also worked on the importance of manners and politeness, including putting our napkins on our laps and saying please and thank you. After the party we practiced folding napkins and cleaning up. It was a delightful party! We mingled with fascinating new friends, sipped on decaf green tea, and had fun learning in the process! :)
Our pouring materials consisted of the following: Tray, measuring cup, glass jar, funnels, small pitcher, and 2 small cups.
E practiced pouring, at first using the funnels and then directly into the small cups..
We later began to set up for our tea party..
After the tea was brewed, E finished up a few last minute preparations as we waited for our guests to arrive.
Our first guest was a kind lion with a gentle heart, who enjoys agave nectar in his tea.
E poured another cup of tea for our next guest, Indiana Jones.
Indiana was tired, hungry, and a bit cranky after a day of exploring. But he soon warmed up to us after graciously excepting our peace offering and polite invitation to set up camp with us for the night.
Our next guest was a cowgirl, who had stumbled across our party while in search of her missing cattle.
Later that night the cows finally showed up and had a little After Party of their own. :)
Well, okay.. just a FEW WORDS as an introduction to the photos. These were taken this past Sunday, while our oldest was spending the weekend with his Grammy. :)
I've gotten a bit behind.. or too far ahead of myself.. can't decide which. So, I'm backtracking to this past weekend. But first, I'm backtracking 2 years. Confused already? Okay, I'll try my best now to straighten it all out. Here we go..
Originally this past weekend we were supposed to all go back to our home town to get the rest of our stuff out of our old house which is in the process of foreclosure. I know I haven't mentioned anything about it (mostly out of embarrassment), so to quickly fill you all in.. about 2 years ago we moved back to our small home town in order to have more help with the boys so we could focus on working on some issues we were having in our marriage. We had just rented a house from a friend, and before we even finished unpacking, she decided she wanted to sell it. Because of our lease agreement, we could have stayed a year and then moved out, but that meant that prospective buyers would be tromping through it our entire stay. When her Realtor came through and started taking pictures and asking me questions, I finally just couldn't take it anymore and eventually we ended up buying the house. I feel like we were pushed into a difficult position, but I can't blame my friend because it was our choice to buy it. Honestly though, we weren't ready. Had we known she was going to put it up for sale so quickly, we wouldn't have rented it to begin with. When we signed the lease, she told us we could rent for one year, then decide to buy it or continue renting. We can't help but feel a bit mis-lead. I don't think it was originally her intention to sell so fast, but she ended up finding a place she wanted to buy, and so obviously needed to sell our place first. Anyway..
For the next year and a half, J commuted to Columbus 2 hours each way. That was around the time that gas rockets began skyrocketing and he had to end up taking a 2nd job in the evenings just to pay for the gas to drive back and forth to work. I had the boys from the time they got up to the time they went to bed. He did not see them all week and occasionally started staying at my sister and my brother-in-law's house (who lived in between the two places) to save money. J became a grumpy zombie and I felt like a single mom. And although our entire purpose of moving back was to try to save our marriage, it ended up growing worse because of the distance and exhaustion.
Also around this time the house started falling apart.. at one point the plumbing was so bad that none of the sinks worked, the shower came crashing down out of the ceiling, we had to shut the hot water off because the knobs on the bathtub broke and were shooting out water everywhere on the hot water side. For months I was doing the dishes in the bathtub in cold water and taking myself and the boys to my mom's for baths. We didn't have the money to get any of it fixed and I was on the verge of having a complete breakdown. Our marriage was suffering, J couldn't handle the 4 hour a day commute anymore, and we were getting way behind on our mortgage because of several unexpected medical issues that came up.
During the course of that year, our littlest one, E smashed his head open on the coffee table and we had to call 911; I got two concussions (both from E) and was in bed for weeks with crippling migraines; I fell down the stairs and hurt my tailbone to the point of not being able to walk for a week. Also, right before we moved back, J was in a bad car accident and broke his collarbone. The accident ended up going to court, which we are still waiting to be compensated for, so we had to take on those medical bills as well, along with chiropractor visits several times a week. Without having any insurance and J having to take so much time off work during all those accidents, the bills started to add up and we could barely keep up with our mortgage.
Finally we moved back to Columbus out of desperation. My mom and a friend of hers starting working on trying to get all the plumbing fixed so we could list the house. 2 days after they finished everything, we got a letter in the mail saying we were being taken to court for our house. The bank had given us several months, but it was not enough time for us to try to sell it. So, now.. like thousands of others, we are going through a foreclosure. I really hesitated to write about this.. but I have felt that I have been holding part of my life back from everyone. Life isn't all happy smiles and fun. It's difficult at times. We all have our burdens and our struggles, and this ours right now. Thankfully our faith has helped us to endure all of these trials and we are extremely blessed that J has two good jobs and that we have a roof over our heads. Thinking back to it all now just amazes me. I can't believe all that happened in such a short period of time and yet, we made it through. We're still barely hanging on by a thread at times.. but I believe that God will continue to strengthen us as a family and continue restore hope and healing in our lives. Some things just take time.. and we are still learning the importance of patience, sacrifice, and forgiveness.
So, fast forward now to this past weekend..
We were planning on trying to get our China cabinet and several things out of the garage and move them here, but then as an answered prayer from God, a friend of my mom's offered to move it for us next weekend, so we decided to wait and save ourselves the money we would of had to come up with for a U-haul. The problem was, we already had made plans for our oldest (who is on Spring break now) to stay with my mom for the weekend and go with her to school to visit his old classroom and school friends (she was his teacher until we moved and he changed schools). So, J ended up driving him there anyway and got a few things from the house that he could fit into the car while there. So.. with two of the boys gone for the afternoon, E and I spent Saturday alone together gathering and collecting materials for our (drum roll please..) Montessori activity center! Yay!
Yes, we (as a family) have FINALLY made the decision to start homeschooling!!! :)
Soooo.. I have some fun photos coming soon of the activities we have just started working on. Our oldest still has two more months of kindergarten left, but I have decided to go ahead and start working with E on some basic Montessori projects. I am very excited, but also a bit overwhelmed, so I am really going to need lots of support along the way. I am so thankful and grateful for all of the new friendships I have already formed on here. I feel so blessed to have met so many amazing and unique people. I am so happy that you will be coming along with us as we begin to embark on this new journey! :)
Love and blessings to you all,
Erin
P.S. After all of that confessing and writing I'm too tired to re-read this before posting, so I apologize for any run-on sentences or mis-spelled words.
I know I promised a short video clip from A's school play, but I have never used my camera's film setting before, so we are having a few technical difficulties. Hopefully we will get them figured out soon. And unfortunately because I was so busy trying to record it on my camera, I didn't get too many good pics. Anyway, here are a few moments from this past week, including "Tikki Tikki Tembo", E's new mannequin friends, and some nature drawings using our Crayola's True to Life markers, which we love. :)
