So, let's start at the beginning. I'm going to share some scripture verses to help understand where the name of my blog, "The Olive Tree Community" originated. I consider myself to be a wanderer, a nomad of sorts, never quite sure where my home is, and not sure that it even matters, considering I think of the Earth as only a temporary dwelling anyway. With all that being said, I find myself spiritually and emotionally drawn to trees. The olive tree in particular. After the flood, it was an olive tree branch that the dove brought back to Noah.. and it astounds me that something could be so solid and rooted that it could withstand such an incredible natural disaster. I yearn to have that amount of strength, and yet I recognize how weak and easily moved I am. It's within those broken crumbling disastrous meltdowns though that I feel the strength of God rooted deeply within me the most. I am able to melt into those protective loving arms and feel safe from the storm. I am reminded that no matter how far off I wander there is always a safe place I can return to when I need shelter. I believe that when we allow ourselves to be humble, to shed those layers of protection, and allow God and others to see all of our cracks, flaws, and open wounds that we are in turn restored, renewed, healed.. all the pain and heartache washed away by holy water. Our feet are set upon a firm foundation once again.
I believe that God speaks to us in ways that we might not understand and not always in the places where we expect to find him. For example, I have not been able to focus in church recently, but it is in the late evening hours of time spent reading in the bathtub that I hear God's voice more clearly than ever. Many times it is also when I'm wandering around taking photographs or sitting on the porch swing early in the morning and I can feel His presence alongside of me..
I'm sure we all have our different beliefs, but I am curious to know where and when you feel most at peace, most fully alive, and most completely in tune and aware that there is something so far beyond our understanding and at the same time closer to our hearts than anything else? I would love to hear about your own personal sacred places.. whether it be out in the world or deep within your soul.
Love and blessings,
Erin
Since becoming a mom, I've found that finding that sacred place can be a bit difficult. My time is so often not my own, but at the same time, I now see how selfish my faith was pre-bambino.
ReplyDeleteNow I try to find sacred places wherever I am...not to say that I always succeed at that one. But, then again, success isn't necessarily the point. Reliance on God is, and he certainly doesn't mind making me aware of that on a regular basis.
To answer your question, though, I often find that place outside...while gardening, wandering, or just sitting still and breathing. I find it in my son...in all the quirky little things he does that so clearly display God's fingerprints. Sometimes (on the rare occasion when I can still myself) I find it in the everyday activities of life...doing the dishes and the laundry...on those rare and beautiful occasions when I can see God's gifts...even in what I often consider to be drudgery.
Erin, we don't know eachother, but through our blogs we seem to have been connected. You are truly a deep soul with lots more to discover and explore about yourself and the world, as we all do. As I read your last few posts, there are many words of yours that I can totally relate with. It's true that we are weak, yet God is so strong in us that if we focus on our weakness and our failings more than His strength, we risk discrediting His greatness. (in other words, take it easy on yourself- I'm sure you are an amazing woman, mother, wife, and friend!)
ReplyDeleteYou know, I think if we knew eachother in real life, we would be kindred souls! Everything on your 'about me' section I totally relate to and sounds like you are so lovely!
ps, thanks for your encouraging words on my homebirth decision! :)
I read your previous post and instantly connected with the moving process. I too, once moved many times in a very short timespan. Currently, we are living day to day, knowing another move awaits us as well. It is the only way my husband can be promoted, so we move. I used to think it was crazy to do with children, but now, I look forward to it. Of course I get to enjoy a place for about 2 years at a time, which is different than the situation you described.
ReplyDeleteAnother thought was how this blog spot, even though you may change dwellings, can be your home, a place that is constant and easily accessible as long as their is an internet connection/library. So maybe a thought to hold onto.
When do I feel peace? Late a night, just before sleeping. I go into a meditative prayer and most nights, I am really calm, happy and filled with peace.
Other times, listening to music, observing my two boys playing, growing, loving and laughing. I feel peace giving Reiki, sitting in my beach chair and dancing.
I will admit, I haven't felt peace in a church for some time. It really bothers me as I have a strong Catholic background and was very active in the church. But the reality is that there are too many holes in the history and I long for interconnectedness and inclusion of all major faith paths. I long for a faith that encorporates tradition and ceremony, but includes more spirit filled practices. I have never told anyone this, but most times at church, I have to choke back my tears. This has been constant for over 10 years. It is painful to know there isn't a perfect religion to follow and all religions are so judgemental. I thought the object was to follow in love and to remember we are not the perfect one, but one to learn lessons and listen to the love of god.
Anyway, not certain if this answered your question, but I thought it might help seeing something differently, from another homeschooler, who is exploring her place in the world.
This is such a moving post and I'm so glad I'm subscribing to your blog. It's tough when you think that God isn't talking to you or more specifically; when one feels a great distance between the lightness your trying to remain in and darkness that threatens to swallow you whole. Your thoughts provoked me into remaining focused on the good things about life and that even though bad things are sure to occur...if one remains open to all possibilities -- one remains open to enlightenment for an eternity.
ReplyDeleteThank you... i'm going to add your blog so i can read it... i'm off to the dentist so that should be grand. your children are very cute. Is home schooling hard?
ReplyDeleteThanks for your sweet comment, Erin. I'm not a mom, but I am a new wife, which presents its own challenges :D
ReplyDeleteFor me, it is simply the outdoors. I have a special little spot here where I really feel "in touch" with the energy of the earth/the Divine.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts.
Thank you all for sharing so openly and honestly. It means the world to me. :)
ReplyDeleteLovely post Erin ;) I long to be by the ocean again. That's were I used to go. Admiring God's Glorious creation. But I realize God is everywhere, so for now I just ponder on His Glory wherever I may be @ the moment. But my current favorite is in the garden.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I don't feel connected to God (which happens far too often) and I really stop to think about why that is, I usually realize it's because I haven't been thinking about Him very much. The more I think about Him, pray, read, etc., the closer to Him I feel. Of course, He's always there, but in the busyness of daily life it's easy to forget and lose sight. I've found that the more I get outside, the more I walk in the woods, or the creek, or even sit on my patio, the less busy I allow myself to be in the moment, and the more open I am to feel His perfect peace.
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