It has rained here the entire week.. although, it looks as though the sun is trying to peek out this morning. I have not been feeling well and the boys have been behaving like Wild Things trapped inside the house with a grumpy mama. I understand how they feel.. after a gorgeous sunny weekend we finally got a taste of warm weather and freedom, and then this week were stuck back inside again. Yesterday I had a bad headache and horrible cramps and the kids were just laying around whining and not cleaning up after themselves or doing anything that I asked of them. That combined with other stress I've been dealing with recently, I finally reached my frustration limit and had a meltdown. I sat in bed and cried and cried unable to get dressed and then decided to keep A home from school so I could try to rest. I canceled plans with a friend I had that evening and took a nap as soon as the panda got home from work then took a really long bath and went back to bed again.
I was telling my friend that I feel as though I live in a frat house with guys who do nothing but eat, complain, fight with each other, and make messes. It seems like all I do is nag all the time.. so, I'm wondering if any of you have any suggestions on how to get kids to help out around the house more? I have thought about doing a chore chart that they can mark off. Is 6 and 3 (they will be 7 and 4 this summer) too young to start chore allowances? I could really use some help and advice in this area! Thanks. :)
Although, I'm still not feeling well and was up with cramps most of the night.. I'm going to try to take the kids to my friend Alana's house this afternoon so they can play with her kids. They have been begging to go and I don't think I can take another day of being stuck in this house together, so I'm going to try to tough it out. Tomorrow morning we're going back to our hometown for the afternoon to go to a birthday party of A's best friend from his old school and also try to get the rest of our stuff out of the garage at our house before the bank takes it.. if they haven't already. I haven't been back there for awhile and am a bit worried about the emotions it might stir up. It's a difficult thing losing your first home. Although we didn't live there for a long time, and I had a love/hate relationship towards it, it was still our first house and is filled with many memories. I've been trying to move on and make our apartment feel like home. I am thankful for the few good friends I have here, but I have been missing my family lately. I know we made the best decision moving back to the city again (not that we had much of a choice) and that I just need to put my faith in God to help get us through this difficult time.
Most days I am brave and am able to focus on the present, but yesterday just became more than I could handle and I broke down. I guess I'm wondering.. am I alone in this? I read other women's blogs and they seem to have it so together all the time. I am envious of the organized crafts, meal plans, fun outings, and seemingly well-behaved, helpful and polite children. Sometimes I wonder.. what am I doing wrong?? Yes, sometimes my own children can be sweet.. but most of the time they are such Wild Things!
I had a dream last night that I was pregnant and we had an ultrasound done. The doctor gave us these large x-ray photos of the baby. We saw that we were having a boy and decided to name him Elijah. In one of the photos he was wearing one of E's favorite hats. :) It doesn't surprise me that I had this dream because I have had babies on the mind lately! I woke up thinking about how much I want another one, but then stopped and remembered the day I had yesterday. Could I handle having another boy in the house?? My oldest badly wants more younger brother and sisters (3 more boys and 5 girls to be exact) He wants our homeschooling class to be filled with siblings. I think he's been watching too much TLC lately.. ha!
Anyway, I don't even know where I'm going with this post.. just felt the need to vent, I guess. Also, I want to share with you a movie preview that I am very excited about! The book that it's based on is one of my favorites, and I appreciate it even more now that I have boys. If the song in the background sounds familiar, it's one of my favorite bands that you just heard on music video Monday and it's also on my playlist. I was really happy to hear this song featured in the film, and feel that it fits in well.
Hope you all have a great weekend, and please.. I am open to any suggestions you may have! Thanks. :)
oh i am really excited about this movie as well. when mike showed it to me at first i was so afraid it would look cheesy, but it looks very promising!!!!
ReplyDeleteand, girl, i SO wish i was close so we could commiserate over our wild things together, cuz let me tell you... i feel sometimes like i am trying to break wild horses rather than raise children! some days i can shrug and say "boys will be boys" and other times it makes me INSANE.
i am probably not one to give you advice as i appear to be in the same boat. i will say though, that they are not too small for simple chores and daily responsibilities with rewards and i have had success in the past with charts, but it requires keeping up with it and being on top of them. i will confess that i have let it fall by the wayside. still looking for a good system. so far haven't found something that is a good fit for all of us.
vent to me any time you want......
:) It's funny cause I always see you as the perfect mommy, doing fun and educational things with your kids and raising nice and polite children. (You're boys have been very nice and polite every time I have met them ;) And I truly believe all those things are true, sometimes it just doesn't feel that way.
ReplyDeleteI often wonder the same things about myself, how can I manage to raise my boys (and get through this toddlerhood), do all the things I am supposed to do even when I am feeling down or sick, and still maintain some sort of life for myself where crafting, blogging and all other dream things are fulfilled.
I think most moms that "seemingly" have it all together feel like pulling their hair out too because that is the reality of raising children. THere are ups and downs, but all you can do is your best and stay positive. You aren't doing anything wrong, you have WILD THINGS because they are young boys, so full of energy, it just bursts out of them!!!
You're doing a great job Erin. I always look up to you and the way you mommy your boys!!!!
<3
It's interesting you mention about another baby since I have been wondering about that myself. And then I remember I already feel swamped homeschooling two kids.
ReplyDeleteBut I have been reading "Shepherding a child's heart" or something similar as I can't find the book at this moment but want to let you know setting boundaries goes a long way as well as building a good habit, though it takes 28 days and you have to stick to it. Anyway, would recommend you browse through that book if you get a chance.
I have been working on the clean up with my kids at home too. They do clean and do quite a bit of chores, but they still manage to make more mess than they clean up so I feel the same. "Parenting is messy but great!" -from the movie Baby mama
Wow something must be in the water. Cause we have been thinking about number three as well. But like you, I have days where I want to just cry. I think it's especially hard for us mommies that live far from family, cause I know if my folks were around to give us a break once in a while it would be alot easier. Then instead of having meltdowns we would be going on dates with our hubby's. I love my children. But missing them for a few hours while Gamma and Pappa love on them would be awesome.
ReplyDeleteShepherding a childs heart is a great book btw.
Thank you all for your honest and sweet replies.. you have no idea how much it helps just knowing I am not alone and that everyone has up and down days. Thank you also for the book recommendation!
ReplyDeleteXOXO Love you all so much!
LET THE WILD RUMPUS BEGIN! We love Max too! That is so cool! I had no idea they were making a movie out of that book!
ReplyDeleteI am, without a doubt, raising a "Wild Thing". People look at me, and her, like we're half-crazy and out of control sometimes. She's not your average little girl, and acts much more like a boy than a sweet, little, quiet girl! BUT I would not trade her for anything (she is just like me, after all!) and I certainly do not have it all together. God is good and gives us the wisdom and grace we need to make it through each day. And He (and Em too) is extremely forgiving and gracious! No one is perfect, and it is too much work to pretend like I am!
Hmmmm...another baby....sounds good to me! I think I'll have one in a week or so!
My blog is my place to mostly focus on the positive, so I may give the impression to others that things are more together around here than they really are most of the time. :) I too have days where I just crawl in bed and hide for a while. I haven't bought groceries in, I don't know, maybe 3 weeks. We're scraping the pantry for meals, and I make my poor husband go by the store on his way home from work almost everyday. I would be mortified if a guest dropped by and saw the state of my kitchen--and the rest of my house too, actually. In other words, you're not alone. Hang in there. :)
ReplyDeleteYou. Me. Boat. Together.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, trying to learn extreme patience and making light of everything helps tremendously. I have to also acknowledge the face that we are all being watched over. All the time. After that, no worries.
Seriously...I have days where I go and hide in the bathroom and just cry, and wonder if I can REALLY do this.
ReplyDeleteAs for chores...I fight with my kids too. Im thinking of ordering this to create some structure
http://www.titus2.com/ecommerce/products/prod_listing.php/1150 I think the people are kind of odd..but got some good out of the managers of their homes book.
Hi Erin,
ReplyDeleteNope, you sure aren't alone. My "living juicy" boys certainly can be wild things too at times! I'm constantly challenged by my own passion for homeschooling & the reality of everything that goes with creating a little world of your own where you are with your own children all of the time, no matter how wonderful & sweet they are (or are not ;). Especially, if you're a creative soul like you really seem to be (& I'm sure most of us blogging Mama's are at heart).
I think posts like this are wonderful so that we can all read the collective trials & tribulations of being parents... & realise that no-one has it all going on, all of the time.
Big love to you.
I try to emphasize cooperation in our house and because we're unschoolers, they really do a lot of things to help out anyway. It's just not usually the same stuff I want them to help out with! I try to look at the big picture and then there's in-fighting in the midst. Also, I'm starting small - trying to get them to consistently take their dishes in to the kitchen after eating, asking them to hand me things, help me out, etc. At least that way they're learning about cooperating, if not necessarily learning about how to keep their messes down. It's the broader issues, not the specific ones in the end. In the day to day, it's just hard.
ReplyDeleteI don't like allowance for chores, personally, but I do like the idea of an allowance for being a participating member of the family. So that may not mean that they have to pick up 6 messes or whatever in order to get paid, but rather that they just have to agree to being a participating member of the family (whatever that means in a broad sense) and then we agree to share part of our income. This isn't really an issue for us right now as we have no income, so there's no allowance to be had! lol
As for Where the Wild Things Are - I posted this trailer on my facebook a couple of months ago - I love it. I was so worried last year when we heard the clips were not looking good and that Spike Jonze was having issues with the studio but this makes it look so lovely that I just hope it worked out. Plus Arcade Fire is effing amazing and that song makes me cry anyhow.
I gave you a blog award too, since I'm babbling here: http://sugarboot.blogspot.com/2009/05/blog-award.html
Oh god, I'll shut up now.