Worth the wait...

Please forgive me... I am really behind on my posts lately and they are a bit out of order. I have been so busy trying to keep up with life lately that I can barely find the time to document it. I want to continue sharing with family and friends what's going on in my life though, so I'm going to try my best to continue writing and posting photos! Plus, I want to have these words and memories written down for myself, and also to share with the boys when they get older... along with (hopefully) more children of our own one day. :)

Nolan came to stay a few weeks ago for several days. We had been apart for almost 4 months. It was so good to see him again in the flesh... to be able to look into his eyes, feel his hand in mine, watch his lips move while speaking, to see him interact with the boys... sigh, and now he is gone again and it's difficult looking at these photos. They bring a smile to my face and make my heart grow warm... but at the same time, it causes me to miss him even more. I know that the next time he returns it will be for good. He is moving back this summer, right before we get married. And even though time seems to be flying by and there are so many things to be done and put in order before his arrival, it aches so badly being apart from him again.

Thankfully I have been so busy that it helps distract me a little... I am still job searching, packing, homeschooling, researching schools for myself, going to family events and celebrations, trying to organize a garage sale, and of course planning an elopement ceremony and honeymoon... which has recently taken an interesting new twist. :) So, I'm sure he will be here again before I know it!

His visit here was not exactly as relaxing as we had hoped it to be. 2 days before he came back I got sick with a chest/ head cold and fever (which I am still trying to fight off. Can't seem to get rid of this cough and congestion.) So, I was a bit whiny and cranky and kept him awake thrashing around in a feverish coughing fit, while the boys fought over covers and kicked each other all night long. In between the sickness and exhaustion, we had a lot of activities planned including a David Gray concert (which was his Christmas gift to me) and also a trip back to our hometown for a whirlwind visit to see our families. With a 3 hour time difference, Nolan was also fighting jet lag... and we seemed to spend a lot of our time in the car. Oh, and the temperatures decided to drop from the 70's back down into the 40-50's right before his arrival... so the drastic change in weather was not helping my mood either.

Regardless of all those things, it was so worth the wait. The moment I saw him in the airport my heart began to race and I felt myself melt back into his arms again. After we got to the car he gave me a small box containing a promise ring, which fits me so beautifully. The next evening I finally got to get dressed up and go on a real date with my fiance. He endured the David Gray concert and lengthy encore out of love for me. (Not that he's hating on David or anything. It's just not his cup of tea, lol.) Although, honestly... just knowing he was sitting by my side, and being able to hold his hand was more than enough of a gift for me. Afterward we went to an old favorite place of his, shared a plate of pita bread and hummus and had a drink. Often I would feel envious of other couples going out together... and so it was nice that we finally had our moment together.

The next morning we got up early and went to church. It was the most amazing feeling having him by my side. Holding his hand as we walked up to take communion together... he is everything I have ever hoped and prayed for... sometimes I can't believe that he is real. To finally have someone in my life who shares my beliefs, my faith... and who wants to go to church with me. It was such a blessing to share that time with him and I am so happy he had a chance to meet some of my friends while there. After that we drove a couple hours back to our hometown where he met the boys for the first time (who had stayed with my mom the night before so we could go out), and also met my entire family... including my mom and step-dad, my dad and my step-mom, and my sister and brother-in-law. I know it had to have been so overwhelming and I was so proud of him for enduring it all. When we first got there he sat down with the boys at my mom's table and began to draw with them. It was such a good way to break the ice and for them to do something together that they all enjoy. The family introduction went really well and then we took the boys with us to visit his family, whom I have already spent time with on my own. His sister has two boys very close in age to mine, so they had a chance to play together again and it was so good just to finally be there with him!

The next couple of days were spent together with the boys. They took to him so naturally and it was really nice to watch them finally interacting with one another. We got back late that night, so the next morning Nolan let me stay in bed and drink coffee while he took them to breakfast in the dining room at the hotel. After that we went to look at the apartment together that we are planning to move to this summer. We drove around the neighborhood for a bit and showed my oldest where he will be going to school. They really liked the area and were happy that the apartment community had a large grassy area to play in and park close by. We took them to get sweet treats at a coffee shop and then went swimming at the indoor pool. The next morning we went to the playground for awhile, then had to take Nolan to the airport, and he shared another meal with them before saying goodbye.

I think what reassured me the most about his visit is that it was not perfect, it was not relaxing, and it was such a huge dose of reality. I know there are some people who have been concerned that we have been living in some sort of long-distance fairy tale la la land and that when our worlds finally collide in reality our dream bubbles were going to burst. But, I feel as though we have endured more than most people do in a very short time period. Long-distance relationships require an enormous amount of patience and devotion to one another. All you have are your words... your phone conversations, your e-mails... you are forced to share... to talk late into the night... there are not any distractions. We can't watch movies, eat dinner, go places, do things together... we are not distracted by any sort of physical interaction... so we have grown in other ways. Emotionally digging into our past, sharing stories and thoughts and feelings, praying together, searching together, growing together... and our time spent together is not taken for granted. This last visit was difficult and yet I feel it made our relationship even stronger than it was before. I know that if we can endure all that we have gone through so far, and with God in the center of our relationship... our marriage... our family... we can get through anything together. :)

To anyone who still reads my blog, thank you for taking the time to care enough about my life to continue following my journey. I am sorry that I am struggling to keep up with your lives lately. I look forward to not being in transition anymore and finally getting settled into a new routine and rhythm... it's just going to take time. I need you to know though how much I appreciate your patience and encouraging words. You have no idea how much they mean to me...

Much love and many blessings,
Erin

And now for your viewing and listening pleasure...a lengthy photo stream, which of course would not be complete without a David Gray video. :)

"Please forgive me if I act a little strange, for I know not what I do... feels like lightning running through my veins, every time I look at you."